how frustrated am i. i'm stuck because i can't express myself properly. the same way i can't paint what i want to paint. i can't make the noise i want.
i feel like biting a thick raw steak and shaking it hard. and dropping it. because something like that between my teeth would probably feel good.
just. a mother. fucking. frustrating fuck.ity. shit.
tight chests. sore arms. heart hurts. bath and candle time.
AND MAGAZINE DAY! that's great. I got a vogue in the mail. little thing I can hold on to.
I probably need to work harder. I need to research the sound I want more. I need to paint more, obviously. I.
I want something different.
bath, candle, magazine, scotchy scotch time.
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