The last day

A creature

Built for cruelty.

Hopefully will find happiness and change.

But until then. And maybe until never. Don't engage and move on.

So, this might be neat

Starting a little fitness experiment with my sisters... 30minutes of exercise/5 times a week.

Today I

Got on the scale and weighed more than I have in about three years.

So I got on the treadmill for the first time in a long time.

holy fuck

my blog just seems to be the most depressing place in time. sad sad sad. an opportunity to be sad. sad sad. oh! I forgot what fun and happy is, oh joy!

oh fuck.

Sometimes when

Things are bad. And you are surrounded by bad. You don't know that it's bad.

And then something feels good. And your husband is so good. And helpful. And there is joy. Joy and laughter. And fun. Even in the midst of dark freezing cold January nights.

Is it possible

That among all these things. That's the thing that's getting to me the most. That's my big challenge and the thing to focus on.

It's the biggest challenges. But it's honestly the real problem.